Lately I've been tired and it reminds me of high school when I didn't have a choice but to be at school by 7:45am when the second bell rang (which is far too early for school to start). I have cycles of intense drowsiness where i can barely stay awake due to chronic fatigue. I'm going through another one of those cycles, and it's made for a very tired day. Basically I was awake for an hour and became so tired I had to sleep more and when I woke up the process repeated. I did however finally get out of the house and went to the library for a few hours.
I realized today how funny people can be about odd body functions. I do this thing where I cross my ankles and put pressure in on my knees and out on my ankles and it pops something in my lower back. Sometimes it pops loudly and other times it's pretty quiet. It was loud this time. A lady in the library who was looking with her daughter at books turned her head really fast like she thought something just broke, but nothing broke, just a pop. Then later I was going into a store and I sometimes stand funny if I'm waiting in line a long time and turn my feet out really far or stretch them or just turn parts of my legs odd... I do this to reduce the amount of pressure focused in the "usual" part of my knees, ankles and hips, also it keeps me amused when I realize I'm doing it. An older gentlemen, maybe mid 50's to early 60's was standing behind me in line and just STARING at my feet, my ankles were twisted funny and it probably looked painful, though it wasn't (at the time, I'm paying for it now, but these things happen).
This last event got me thinking about all the circus people you find who can bend and twist in crazy ways and people are so amazed (sometimes grossed out) by it, but I can almost guarantee the people who do these "tricks" don't hurt while they do them. We just love to be freaked out by "gross" things, it might be human nature.
Recently someone came back into my life, just a little, and I'm nervous. I'm not doing as well physically as I was doing when he was around before. He means a lot to me, and I'm scared of what might happen if he finds out I'm not as physically solid and fall apart more now.
Night guys. I'm off to listen to some music and calm my soul.