Working myself to sickness....

I've been working A LOT lately. Its been hard and its beginning to take a tole on my body. Simply standing for five minutes hurts.and standing for four hours, nearly destroys me. I'm needing to save a LOT of money in a SHORT time so that I can manage to put enough down on a car so I can manage to get financing and blah blah blah.... in short. I need a lot of money, in a short amount of time, which means I need to work myself to being sick. I'm hoping I manage to not be sick from this for a month or two.

Do you know whats worse then being at pain and at work??
The answer is, Being in A LOT of pain and having absolutely NOTHING to do at work to distract yourself. Really, when you can keep busy at work and be in pain its slightly less unbearable then when there's nothing to do. Distractions are amazing.

And now I need to go pass out and sleep. I have a very long day ahead of me tomorrow.

No voice?

I'm slowly losing my voice. NOT FUN! I have plans for the weekend and I need a voice for most of them! I have three days off, I need my voice to function! I started feeling it at work, my voice was cracking a little and now when I try to talk I cough and it hurts.
Not cool. So now I'm going to bed.

The beginning of the purge... to simplify my life, as far as possessions go anyway...

This first area I'm cleaning up is easy and hard. I grew up being over weight and never feeling like I had the “right” clothes to compete with everyone in my class... seems childish and petty, but there are many more issues that got smashed together and created this issue, so I've become some what of a “hoarder” of clothes. I typically keep myself in line, but occasionally I find myself trying to buy one of every color of something on sale. Thus, I'm starting off with my closet.

I will try on EVERYTHING I own, if it doesn't fit or I've simply kept it for sentimental reasons, it will be thrown (to Good-will). This whole time I'm keeping in mind “If I ever need something like this, I can go to the store and buy it or borrow it from a friend.” otherwise, my brain always thinks “what if I need this someday?” even when I haven't worn it in years.

I hit a hard decision about 15 minutes in, I pulled out my “dress clothes” and when looking at the pants and cute jacket I wore for a wedding once I wanted to keep them, wanted to hold on to them. I went through all of my other shirts I had to see if I had anything that would make them look presentable... determined that was a no, and put them in the basket to donate. It was hard but ultimately felt really good.

Through half my clothes... and part of my “junk drawer” (well, one of the five or six.)

Now to bed. Finally at 4:30am.

Goodnight

I will actively avoid...

I will actively avoid mentioning that I have indeed been away for a bit... a bit longer then I wish... and that is all I have to say on the matter.

Like I do everyday, I've been thinking lately WHAT I want to do with my life.
I know what I want to do IN my life, and I have realized, that is the best place to start.

1) I want to learn french -------> So I have now purchased the Rosetta Stone for french. It's expensive you say? Yes, I've realized this but when investing in knowledge, I find there is rarely a price too high. plus it was on sale, with a five month payment plan. So far, I am learning from it, which is the point, correct?
Once I've mastered french (I bought the complete set, level 1 through 5... which may seem excessive... and probably is... but if I can some day write a whole blog entry in French, it will make me smile, which I'm beginning to think is the point to life...)

2) I want to see the ocean -----> I've gotten in contact with a few people I know throughout the country and decided in the next year, I WILL take a train to the ocean. I WILL stand with my toes in the salty water and smell the salt in the air. I have never seen the ocean before, other then in pictures, and there is almost nothing more my soul seems to yearn for then to feel those waters. I can't explain it, but I feel a NEED for it.

3) READ -----> I own over 100 books. Half of them I probably haven't read, YET. I'm starting my way through them. I'm not saying I will read them ALL completely from cover to cover, I've already found the book "Angles and Demons" can't seem to keep my attention. It's a wonderfully written book by a great author but not what seems to keep my attention these days. I've moved onto "Animal Farm" and am quite enjoying it. What will I read next? I haven't decided. Which sort of brings me to my next thing/topic/goal/activity/characteristic-of-my-life-as-of-late...

4) Live in the moment. Yes I'm making plans but I'm also starting to live in the moment. I'm absorbing, enjoying, and craving events that are happening all around me. I'm living life, in the simplest form.

and
5) Down sizing. I saw a wonderful video on TED.com about creating a simpler life. I have so many THINGS, unnecessary things, sentimental things, and things for the sake of having them "just in case". This next week will be about down sizing the number of "things" I own. I will keep some, though many will go.


And with all of that being said, I don't have much else to say, I will ask you this:
What do you want to do IN life, rather then WITH life??
(answer in the comments, I'm honestly very interested in what people want to do IN life.)